“Blowing out someone else’s candle doesn’t make yours shine any brighter.”Unknown
Jealousy is a funny thing. We all suffer from it I think. We just don’t admit it.
It comes in different forms. And it is not always what we think it is. The obvious state of jealousy that comes in the form of mistrusting a spouse or partner. Or wanting what others have. A better car. A better boat. A better house…
For me it comes in the form of others successes. Accomplishments. I read about a social media star who has just published a book and the green monster creeps in. I tell myself she only got published because she’s a social media star. It can’t actually be a good book. It’s probably just fluff. And she’s so pretty, which is mostly filters and photoshop, which isn’t real but she will probably sell her book because she is pretty and kinda fake.
I know… so rude right? Truth bomb… I’m a bit of an asshole sometimes.
The bottom line is, I see others succeeding and I am jealous. Jealous because I have not yet reached my goals. Because I am not where I want to be in my career, my finances, or my relationships. I see others and I either find a reason why they are doing it wrong or I find a reason why it is easier for them than it is for me.
All of it bullshit. All of it based on jealousy. All of it my own insecurities of not being good enough. Smart enough. Driven enough.
But that is just my own green monster that lives in my head. I am just plain and simply jealous of others who are further ahead than me. Wishing I was further ahead… wishing things would just fall into my lap and poof! I am living my dream life.
But when I stop and think about it… maybe I am living my dream life? Maybe the process of getting to where I want to be is the dream life I need. Each moment it’s own success story. Each loss and each win a step to be proud of. And when I think about it, I have accomplished a shit ton – yes, that is a technical term – of goals in my life. I may not be done with them yet but so what? Who set the deadline? No one else. Just me.
So when I hear of someone who has reached goals that I haven’t, I have learned to cheer them on – or at least I try too. If I can, I ask questions about how they did it. What they would do differently. How was the experience and how incredibly exited I am for them.
I silence my own insecurities and shut my green monster up.
And you know what? Turns out that feels pretty good.
Silencing the green monster is freeing. Ignore it’s ugliness and your motivation will increase. Your attitude will be more positive. Your life just plain happier. Stop begrudging others their accomplishments just because you aren’t there yet.
You will be in your own time and on your own terms. Without your green monster.
And PS to the social media star who just published a book, congratulations! I wish you all the successes you dream of… keep going after it sista!