“You don’t always have to be holding up the walls. Sometimes the walls are there for you to lean on.”Me
At first I didn’t want to write this because I had already written a post about a fire. But then… Then my neighbors garage burnt to the ground and once again, I was inspired to write about a fire.
Once again, within a few short months of each other, a fire hit close to home. This one only 2 doors down. This time I could feel the heat on my cheeks as I stood inside my back entry watching the flames engulf a garage. Listening as the small but frequent explosions cut through our backyards as what I can imagine were chemicals and fuels igniting like a burst of caps from a toy gun. A very loud toy gun.
I watched as the fire trucks arrived. One by one. 3 trucks in total. I watched the firefighters from those trucks do their jobs diligently, efficiently and fearlessly. I watched the flames being reduced to smoke and steam through their efforts. And as the flames disappeared, I saw what the fire had left behind.
Burnt skeletal remains of 2 x 4 framed walls that were once holding up a roof. Charred rubble of unrecognizable motor bikes and cars and other items that typically fill up a garage. The siding on the backs of both of my neighbors houses melted. A camper with part of the side torn off. A shed half missing. 2 more cars with their sides melted…
And the 3 large trees that span the length of 2 back yards and end at my eavestrough. The 3 large trees that reached to where a garage once stood. The 3 large trees that were singed, shrinking back from the inferno that threatened their own lives. But it didn’t. The trees, though badly singed, survived. The trees that I looked at knowing that if they would have lost the battle with the fire, so too would have the homes. Very likely my home included.
But they didn’t and my home stands untouched. My home, my yard, my property. All untouched. All unscathed.
In the short time since the fire was conquered, I have wondered what would have happened if the trees would have went up. What would I have done. And tonight as I was able to sit quietly with my thoughts I wondered if my own positive energy and strength were enough to keep my walls standing. Unharmed. If I alone am enough to keep my life balanced and whole.
This thought wasn’t sitting well.
All I could see in my mind is my walls, my home, scarred from a fire that was not in my control. Not in my power to stop. No matter how strong I put my mind too it. I could not stop it. Then it dawned on me.
It is not in my power to protect my home. It is in my home’s power to protect me. And it did. Brilliantly. For a rare moment in my life, I realized that I don’t always have to be the strong one. I don’t always have to be protecting someone or something. I don’t have to fix it. I don’t have to control it. I don’t have to… I just don’t have to.
Sometimes it is really nice to let go and be protected. From someone or something… it doesn’t matter. My house is not an inanimate object. It is animate. And it is my home. And it is here to protect me and be strong for me and hold me up when I can’t hold myself up. And it is okay to sometimes, maybe a lot of times, have a need to be held up. To be protected.
It is my home and it is strong and powerful and beautiful. I take care of it so it can take care of me. That’s how it’s supposed to work right?
I think I like that. This thought sits well.