“If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.”Dale Carnegie
Have you ever laid awake at night thinking about the conversation you should have had instead of the one you did? You know… the old ‘I should have said’ rerun. Well I have. Too many times. Too many lost hours of sleep recreating conversations that should have been. Why?
It could have been because I don’t think on my feet. Not my strongest skill so that is certainly one reason. But is it really what keeps me from speaking my mind? Or more accurately, speaking my heart? Is it really what has kept me up at night? If I am honest, the answer is no.
Lets try fear on for size. The four letter word that is much more powerful than possibly any other in the English language. Fear. It is what keeps us from trying. Keeps us from failing. Keeps us from learning, knowing… living. It can also keep us from being happy.
So one day I decided to see what was on the other side of that fear. I bared down through the anxiety attack. I powered through the shaking. I walked forward while my heart raced and blood pounded through my veins. And I did something hard. I walked away from something that was not good for me. I tried something I knew I wouldn’t be good at. And I had a conversation that was uncomfortable.
And would you believe that on the other side of that I found happy? My anxiety attack stopped. My shaking subsided and my heartrate went back to normal. I didn’t die. And I was happy.
This was not a one time occurrence. Believe me. I go through this process every time I tackle something I am uncomfortable with. Fear is a powerful emotion. But it is an emotion I am becoming comfortable with. I am becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable because I know on the other side of it is where I will find happy.
So be comfortable with fear. Make that phone call. Go meet that person. Ask for that raise. Try that new thing. Go after what it is that you really want. Face your fear. It is not such a bad word after all. For on the other side… is happy. Trust me.
*This is part 1 of a 3 part post on fear, rejection and vulnerability that I am excited to share with you. Stay tuned for more.