“As I look back on my life I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.”Steve Maraboli
Now that we have talked about fear, let’s look at it a little deeper. What do we fear the most? Opening ourselves up to disappointment? Maybe. Failure? Absolutely. Rejection? Whoop there it is!!! The big ‘R’. Rejection.
Let’s keep going with that word. What is rejection? Is it to be unloved? Is it to be unwanted? If you look it up, the definition of rejection is ‘the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc.’ Not so bad. It also says, ‘the spurning of a person’s affections’. Ouch. That one’s harsh and nobody wants that. Here’s one I wrote… ‘setting aside what does not fit at a current moment or in a current situation.’
Huh. Maybe now rejection is not such a scary word.
This is a great follow up to facing your fears. If you are at this point where you are dealing with rejection, it means you had the courage to face your fears. So isn’t that in itself, success? Most definitely. You may not have gotten that raise. Or that dream date. But maybe you can sleep a little better tonight knowing you tried. And you know. You have an answer AND you can handle the big ‘R’. And once again… you did not die.
Always ask yourself, “what is the worst that can happen?” You don’t get what you want. Or what you think you want. Because you know what? Maybe you didn’t get that raise but next week a better opportunity is going to come along. Maybe you didn’t get that dream date but next week your soul mate will be right in front of you? Or maybe that dream date will re-appear in a better more ‘current situation’.
Now, let’s ask another question, “what is the best that can happen?” You get what you want. Your get that big fat raise that you deserve. You go on that date and you meet your new best friend. Are you really going to let fear of rejection stop you from these things?
I think you see my point. If you don’t ask, you don’t get. It is that simple. Every. Damn. Time. No exceptions. Disappointment sucks. Failure is tough. Rejection is brutal. But moving forward and walking over all of those things… that’s euphoria. Just in case you need that definition… “a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.”
Being rejected is hard but remember… It could simply be that you just do not fit in their current moment or in their current situation. It does not make you a lesser person. Ever. Only you can do that. The right time, the right place, the right people. They have a way of coming together when you are ready for it.
Now go ask for what you want.
*This is part 2 of a 3 part post on fear, rejection and vulnerability that I am excited to share with you. Stay tuned for part 3.