Elizabeth, my hero.

“If you can let go of passion and follow your curiosity, your curiosity might just lead you to your passion.”

Elizabeth Gilbert

I had a moment this morning. Something that has been silently bothering me my whole life just became clear. And I have to thank Elizabeth Gilbert for it.

I am not a huge podcast listener, but I searched for my favourite speaker and hit play this morning on my walk, needing something a bit different than my usual pump-me-up playlist.

It was titled “The Curiosity-Driven Life.” As I have always thought myself a curious, self-titled truth-seeker, I hit play. I was expecting to listen to all the benefits of living by curiosity. Seeking justification for all the things I am doing in my life. The proverbial pat-on-the-back, motivation. But I was misdirected.

Instead, Elizabeth spoke against passion. “Anti-passion,” she said. If you follow Ms. Gilbert, you know she is incredibly passionate about her writing. So I was a bit surprised and, wouldn’t you know, curious. Let me tell you why.

My whole life, I have been looking for my passion. Was it art? It should be art. I am good at it. But I don’t wake up every morning jonesing to pick up a paintbrush.

I love, love, love to write. But let’s be honest… how many of these posts have you seen lately? Enough said on that.

I have a successful business as a landscape designer. I love my business and working with the outdoors. But like most jobs, it has an expiry date called retirement, and, like most professionals, I am looking forward to it.

So, hand on chin, fingers drumming on the desk… what is my passion? I keep looking, keep wondering, what is wrong with me? The amount of thought I have put into this subject, up until this day, this moment, has been staggering. STAGGERING.

Well, I have just been released from this burden. This worry that I am missing something. That I am not good enough because I still have yet to find something to be completely and utterly obsessed with. Turns out, who knew, I am just fine without one. I am good enough; just being curious. Curious enough to paint a picture. Curious enough to write a book. Curious enough to start my own business. And tomorrow… well, who knows what will pique my curiosity.

What I do know is that I am doing my best. Every. Single. Day. Not a day goes by that I don’t try to be my best self. Not one day where I don’t try to find a new challenge. A new lesson to learn. A new thing to be curious about.

Maybe trying to be my best self is my passion?

Hmmm… interesting.