My life is full. I enjoy as many moments as I can. I work hard. I play hard. I have a tendency to cram something into every minute. I take my job very seriously and stress about not doing everything at 100%. And then I wonder why I am always so exhausted. Go figure.
I am teaching myself to sit still. It sounds like something that would be pretty easy but it is not. It’s true, I don’t want to miss out or not do my best but that is not the real reason. I just simply love doing all of the things, all of the time. I love giving 100%. And. I don’t give myself a break. This once again, is part of my healing process. Taking a break was frowned upon for all of my adult life. Admitting I was tired. Or I was sick. That was just complaining and laziness. Just one more thing I did wrong. So I didn’t. I powered through no matter how tired or how sick I was. I would cook dinner hanging on to the counter tops because my back was so sore I could not stand on my own. I powered through.
So to give myself a break is not an easy thing. To stay down when I just don’t feel like getting up. This is not something I am good at doing. But I am getting better. I went to a sleep clinic a few years ago because I was always so exhausted all the time. I thought maybe there was something physically wrong with me. I remember the doctor laying it out for me so simply and so logically. He said, “When you’re hungry, what do you do? You eat. When you’re thirsty, what do you do? You drink. When you are tired, what should you do? SLEEP.” Duh. So I started taking a nap when I just couldn’t stay awake. Something I could never do before. A nap. Huh. A nap. Pretty cool.
And a couple weeks ago, I bought myself a lounge chair for my back yard and guess what I did. I napped in that. All weekend. ALL WEEKEND. It was one of the best weekends I have ever had. Oh. And I got a tan. Oh. And no one died.
So let yourself rest. Take a break. Keep yourself in check and ask yourself – what’s the worst that can happen if I do not do this? Will the world fall apart? Will I miss out on an epic event? Will my clients never speak to me again? Will a loved one get hurt? (maybe dramatic, but still a legitimate question).
You don’t have to do all of the things all of the time. Yes they are fun or rewarding. But so is napping.
So. Is. Napping.