I miss wearing lipstick.

“In all affairs it’s a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.”

Bertrand Russell

What is normal? Today. What is normal? I honestly don’t even know anymore. Most days I feel like nothing has really changed. I still go out. I still shop. I still exercise. I still socialize.

Then the other day I was getting ready to go out and it dawned on me that I never wear lipstick anymore. I used to put it on everyday. Now I think, ‘what’s the point?’ No one sees my mouth …I miss wearing lipstick.

So then I start to think about what has changed. All the things that I don’t do anymore. All the things I miss.

I miss wearing a ridiculously impractical pair of shoes to an party just because they make my calves look great. And I miss bitching all night about how much they hurt my feet.

I miss not being able to hear someone because the group I’m in is too big and everyone is talking at once. And I missed being really annoyed by that and wishing a few more people would work on their listening skills.

I miss spontaneously meeting a bunch of friends for drinks after work. And getting annoyed cause the table next to us are getting too loud, drunk and rowdy.

Okay obviously I get annoyed easily.

I am really not trying to be negative. And don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of things I have gained from this experience. Every experience teaches you something if you are willing to learn. I think a lot of us are just at the end of our rope with this pandemic. Looking towards a finish line that never seems to get any closer. We are frustrated and tired. At least I know I am.

So although I am thinking about all the things I miss, I am also thinking of them in terms of how much I am going to appreciate them again. I am going to appreciate seeing people smile when I walk past them in a grocery store. I am going to appreciate being swallowed up by a crowd. People watching. Shaking hands. Meeting new people. Going to the movies.

And my grandkids. I am going to appreciate the hell out of my grandkids.

I can’t wait to wear lipstick again.