I have not changed.

“People don’t change at their core. If you’re a good person, you’re a good person. What changes is our behavior.”

Karrine Steffans

Do people change? I have asked myself this question many times. Deep down, I don’t believe that they do. I don’t believe that a good person can become bad. I don’t believe that a bad person can become good.

I believe that circumstances around us change. Our environment can change. And I believe that we adjust to those circumstances and that environment. And as a result, I believe that a good person can make a bad choice and a bad person can make a good choice. But at the core, we are all still the same people.

I have gone through immense changes over the past 5 years. Many people have told me that I am not the same person that I was 5 years ago… that I have changed. And I completely understand why they would think this. Back then I existed as a reserved, quiet mousy person that was afraid of my own shadow. I was hollow and empty. And I did things I am not proud of back then. I turned away family and friendship. I lied and made excuses to protect myself. I ran away from anything that challenged me. Not afraid that I would fail, but afraid that I would succeed.

I know why I did these things. Self preservation and coping are powerful. Fear is powerful. I have spent so much time learning why I did these things. Learning how my environment and circumstances influenced me. And I have developed a deep understanding of my why. But it was not who I was. It was never who I was.

Today, if you ask me, I would say I am confident. I am courageous. I am bold. I do not hide nor lie. I stand up to a challenge and I definitely never turn away from family or a friend. And so people tell me that I have changed. I have not changed. I changed my circumstances. I found a new environment. I am proud of who I am and what I stand for. And I am proud of the courage and strength it took to make these changes. And I have travelled a long road to get here.

But on that road, it was always me. Just learning how to be the best me. And I am still learning. That is a life long process that I look forward to. Being aware of my circumstances and environment and making sure they are building me up and not breaking me down. Being true. Being strong. Hopefully, setting an example for others that maybe aren’t in the best circumstances or environment. Hopefully, showing people that you can change your circumstances. Your environment.

Be confident. Be courageous. Be bold.

Be a good person making good choices. That’s all we can try to do. And that’s pretty good… I think.

One thought on “I have not changed.

  1. Hi Shelley, great post. This has been an ongoing discussion that I’ve been having lately and you’re lead-off quote really drew me in. As a wine person, I believe that there is an evolution to us as people but that, at our core, we will always have the same balance of fruit, acid, tannins, and booze that we had the day we were bottled.

    Anyways, I love reading what you write. Thank you for taking the time.

    Liked by 1 person

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