“It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.”Anthony Hopkins
I think we all strive for perfection. In some form or another. And I plead guilty to this without hesitation. I am guilty of this to a fault. Some would call it being competitive. And yup. Guilty again. But as with all of the components of my character, I am working on it. I am working harder every day to accept imperfect. Expect nothing and accept everything.
That doesn’t mean I stop trying to get better at things. I still work at being a better writer. A better artist. A better person. I will continue to work hard at my physical and mental health. All of these things are important to me. Essential to my goal of being perfectly imperfect.
I am guilty of wanting to be the best. I am guilty of wanting to have the best hair and the perfect physique. I am guilty of wanting to have the nicer car and the cleanest home. I struggle to not give in to false appearances. To not use a filter on my selfies. To portray an image that simply isn’t me. Please don’t think I am judging anyone for having or doing these things. I am not. I respect everyone’s choices that are made for their own happiness and well being. This is just my choice for me.
A choice I make because it is the best way for me to love myself for me. To accept myself for all my imperfections and flaws. I did not love myself for a long time. I found everything wrong and nothing right. I focused only on an inconvenient blemish or a soft cushy muffin top hanging out of my jeans. I did not focus on my bright smile or my kind heart. On my many qualities that make me someone to be proud of. Instead I felt shame. Shame to be imperfect.
I am working hard to overcome this. I have learned that the only opinion that really matters is mine. That what everyone else thinks of me is simply none of my business. If I love myself, then that is enough. I am enough. And I am enough. And what is most remarkable about this discovery is that the people that have stayed or entered into my life with this new self-love are people that want to share that love. Not take it away.
So this is me. No filters. No glamour. No smoke and mirrors. I am imperfect. And I am beautiful.