Scars and forgiveness.

“Forgiveness is for you – not the other person. It’s something you do inside yourself that you feel in your body and heart that releases you from your past and frees you to live life fully.”

Barbara J Hunt

My healing process has been slow. I have taken my time. A reason why my process took so long is because of my stubbornness to admit that I have wounds. Chin up. Shoulders back. Move forward. I. Am. Fine.

I have discovered the hard way that to heal your wounds is to admit that they exist. You can’t tend to your wounds until you look at them. Be curious about them. Poke at them and see if they bleed. Then let them. That’s how they clot. And the clot is what closes them. And when they close, they heal.

But they will leave their marks. The scars will always be there and that is not a bad thing. The scars are what remind us that we have weathered a storm. We have the strength to weather another storm. They will remind us that we are who we are because we were once wounded and we healed. They will also remind us to forgive.

To forgive. Oh boy. That’s a big one. I ignored my wounds for a long time and by doing this, I also avoided having to forgive. I was angry that karma didn’t take immediate action and kick some serious ass. But she (or he) didn’t. She (or he) abandoned me. So I was left to watch someone who caused me so much pain, move on as if nothing happened and live a happy little life. I hated that. I couldn’t even think about forgiveness. I wanted revenge.

This year has taught me many things but one is that people are going to be who they are. You can’t change them. You can’t fix them and you can’t change them. Even when they cause others pain and even if they do pay for that pain. Nothing you do will change them. I have learned to accept people for who they are. All people. And through this, I have learned to forgive. To stop looking for karma. For revenge. Just forgive and let go.

Chin up. Shoulders back. Move forward. I have scars and I am not fine. I am great!

I am human and I am a good human. And I am great.